The difference between winning and losing, succeeding and failing

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John Powers

In 1988, John Powers founded the Powers of Motivation Institute. Since then he has worked with more than a thousand major corporations and national associations on how to succeed in a changing world. He is the author of four best-selling books, including the most recent one entitled “Odditude.” For more information please visit http://www.johnpowers.com/.

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The difference between winning and losing, succeeding and failing

Written by John Powers

Monday, 07 September 2009 00:00

One of the ways we allow ourselves to go from ODD to Even is that we confuse two things that have nothing to do with one another – succeeding and failing and winning and losing.

You are succeeding when you are filling your life with all the feelings, thoughts and actions that make you unique. You are failing when you stop. That’s it. You control all of this.

But winning and losing involve elements of your life that may be within your influence but are beyond your actual control. When you hold yourself responsible for areas of your life which you cannot control, you just drive yourself nuts. You destroy your self-confidence. You drain your life of ODD.

My mother knew the difference between succeeding and failing and winning and losing.
When I was a kid, my dream was to be a major league baseball player. I had everything it took: desire, discipline, determination. The only thing I didn’t have was talent.

In high school, every year, I tried out for the baseball team. All four years, I didn’t make it. Coming home from that last tryout, I was so depressed. For the first time, I truly realized that my childhood dream was just that. It would never happen.

I sat down at the kitchen table. Mom was putting dishes away in the cabinets. She tried to say something consoling but I cut her off. I said, “Vince Lombardi says Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.’” (For those of you who are not football fans, Vince Lombardi was coach of the first Super Bowl champions, the Green Bay Packers.)

Actually, that’s not what Lombardi said but that’s what he’s quoted as saying. “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.”

Mom sat down at the kitchen table next to me and talked in that voice that said I’d better listen. She began, “Winning isn’t anything. You can go an entire lifetime and never win so it can’t be that important. But losing is as much a part of life as breathing. You are going to lose lots of tryouts. Live long enough and you’re going to lose jobs…and friends…and family…and dreams.

“Losing and learning to go on and live again is the only kind of winning that truly matters.”

BECOMING YOUR WIZARD OF ODD: Focus on whether you are succeeding or failing. Don’t worry about winning and losing. The irony is, when you do that, you will win a lot more often. John Wooden was the most successful college basketball coach in history. He talked to his players about many things. He taught them. He coached them. He motivated and inspired them. But he never mentioned winning and losing. Yet they did more winning than any other college team in modern history.

BEING A WIZARD TO OTHERS: When you are dealing with people, as long as they are doing their best, treat them as the successes they are.

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