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Barry Eisen is the founder and president of D.E.I., a company designed to work for and with sales and management organizations to improve sales and profits through each participant's personal growth and development. Barry has been a recognized trainer and motivational speaker for over thirty years. He has given more than 6,000 personal development seminars and keynote presentations enjoyed by more then one million managers and sales personnel. See more at: www.barryeisen.com |
| Choose Your Counsel Well - Beware of SNIOPS |
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ARE YOU A SNIOP? (Susceptible to the Negative Influences of Other People) Daily, Greg was growing more excited about his upcoming, first trip to Rome. Finishing up all the last minute details, with just two days to his flight, Greg headed to his barber, Al, for a haircut. Sharing his excitement with Al about the upcoming trip, Greg bubbled about staying with local people, eating homemade, italian food and even having an audience with the Pope. Al put down his scissors and started droning, "You know traveling is so hard these days, such a long boring plane ride. Rome, of all places! It's hard to get around. They drive like crazy, the people are rude and the streets.. disgusting! The Pope? Ha! You'll never get close to him." Greg, feeling a little deflated, left the shop. After his trip, Greg popped into the barber shop. Al started digging in immediately, "Well, didn't I tell you about the terrible flight? The people, like I said, unfriendly, rude, eh! And did you see the Pope? Ha - I'll bet all you could get was his postcard." Brimming with enthusiasm, Greg offered "Al, It was the best flight ever. Everyone was so accommodating. I was treated like family, and the people with whom I stayed showed me the sights as if I were royalty. Oh, and when I got to the Vatican, not only did I meet with the Pope, I had a private audience. It was awesome and I'm so grateful!" Al, astounded to hear all this, asked "What did the Pope say to a nobody like you?" "Well," Greg replied, "as I bent forward to kiss his Holiness' ring, he wanted to know one thing.. and asked me, 'Who gave you such a lousy haircut?'' What's a SNIOP? SNIOP is an acronym for a person who is Susceptible to the Negative Influences of Other People. Was Greg SNIOP? No.. and yes. More importantly, are you willing to discover the subtleties of when you are? And most significantly, when you are, are you willing to take back responsibility for directing your own play, hearing your own song, standing up for your own dreams, living your own best life? Being a SNIOP is not about being just influenced by others. We are and we ought to be. We don't live in a vacuum and the fastest way to create success is to copy it. That means we want to not only allow influence, but to encourage ourselves to be impacted by the thinking and actions of those coaches, mentors and success models who've held high the bar of personal and professional excellence. The goal is to not be influenced by the negative and the limited. It's about 1. bringing conscious choice as to whom we invite to impact us, and 2. seeking direction and guidance from the best vs seeking approval and opinion of the many (or the "Any"). Make sense? So what about Greg? Greg may believe he was not SNIOP. After all, Al was negative and Greg went anyway. It'd be easy to avoid awareness of the pitfall and focus on the very real and deserved success that Greg had on a rich and rewarding trip. The full reality is that Greg DID have, at least one, moment of being SNIOP. Before the trip, Al's complaining impacted Greg who then felt "deflated" by Al's negativity. It's that moment of "deflation," that rent in self-image, that tears at the fiber of our joy. It's often that deflation that digs into the excellence of our next moment. And it's that moment which I'm suggesting you recognize.. and be willing to shift. For some, the moment is fleeting. For others, it segues into more and deeper discouragement. There are those who ignore their own moments of depletion with arrogance, bravado and ego. With a weighty chip on their shoulders, some say "I don't care what so-and-so says." It's usually a lie or they wouldn't even be giving it that much attention. Some retort with a "So's yours" to the negativity of others. "So's yours" is only evidence of SNIOP. It's a reply to words taken personally. They have, in that moment, given the keys to their emotions to the negative influence of others. Otherwise, why all the energy? It's also simple for many who search for others' approval to believe it really matters what someone else says. At either extreme, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEEKING GUIDANCE OF A MENTOR OR A RESPECTED LEADER AND SEEKING ANYONE'S OPINION OR APPROVAL DRAMATICALLY SHIFTS US TO OR FROM OUR POWER. Ask yourself in what ways your world view is colored and shaped by those around you? In what ways - dig deep here, look for the subtle, do you allow yourself to be impacted by the leaders who can advance you or the negative opinions of others that can limit you? Do you use your inner voice with an "I know THAT" to stop you from hearing those who have messages that can advance you? Do you seek approval by others when the authority should be your own inner voice? The best way to predict the future is to create it. We create it by intentional focus on our consciously chosen VISION. I'll bet you'll agree that driving forward while only looking in the rear view mirror is a recipe for disaster. It's no different whether we are in the driver's seat of our car or the driver's seat of our daily attitudes. We GO where we LOOK so we want to guard where we look. Why put on the glasses of those who look to their world with negative attitudes and limited expectations, when we can immediately and consistently commit to playing with those going our way? Who are the people with whom you surround yourself? Who are your coaches, teachers, friends, religious leaders, mentors, trainers and business associates? What do you choose to read, watch on TV, browse on the internet, and attend for entertainment? Who you watch and read are the pals with whom you're hanging. Are you listening to
There is an alternative and it's a shortcut to success: 10 Points to CREATE Your BEST (and avoid being SNIOP)
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